Woodford Reserve fueled rant from our Editor, evilpete

Well football and baseball are over, hockey is on break for the Olympics, and the 76ers just plain suck. So you would think it would be a slow week for sports? Not Hardly.

First, attention whore Tiger Woods had to go on TV and apolgize for being a man-whore. Where is Wilt Chamberlain to pimp-slap this little twit? Awwww.... The best golfer, and possibly the most dominant athelete ever is "sorry for getting too much poontang". Give me a break. Who the hell cares. Thank God I don't have to "officially apologize" for my past 20 years. It is called "being a man aged 20-40", we do stupid stuff.

Then, we have the Olympics. Good stuff. Honorary 505er and legendary drunkard Bode Miller finally got his Gold Medal, but rumor has it his beer pong skills are waning. You just knew it would be a great Olympics when they put steel supports on a sharp curve on the luge track, nothing but a helmet and body-paint in between you and 80-0 in one second. Good call there Canada. And... what exactly is this "Curling"? I'm strangely facinated by it whenever it is on. I don't know where it comes from, what the fuck they are doing, but I watch spellbound when they are sliding that granite-ham thing with a handle down the ice and then swifferring it into place, all while wearing bowling shoes. I might need to road trip to BC just to try this.

The best news of the day just came in right before press time. Looks like the Philadelphia Phils are going to make another run at the World Series with their blockbuster deal today to acquire OF Jesus H. Christ out of the Nazerine League.